Did the kids bring lunch to school? Do you think their lunch snacks are healthy enough? Is the teacher going to judge me because I let them bring fruit roll ups? I hope the kids aren’t dressed to warm today. Should I have let them wear shorts? When am I going to have enough time to do this laundry? Is the baby awake again? Will the kids eat the supper? With TJ eat the supper I made? Will the entire house eat the supper I made? Do I need to go out and grab more food?
Do you ever feel the walls are closing in slowly? Do you feel like the worry never ends? Lately, that’s me. I’m always worried. I’m not really sure what I’m worried about anymore. I’m just on a level of awareness that I didn’t know I had. I wasn’t always like this, I used to be a bit more relaxed. That was two children ago. Now that we’re three kids in, I feel like a lot has changed. I’m more instinctual. I know what my kids need before they even need it. However, knowing everything they need has probably become my biggest weakness thus far.
Think of it this way, if you know all the things that could go wrong, you know that there are a million things to prepare for and who has time for preparing for everything? No one. Perhaps, like all mothers out there, or if you’re like me, a “Type-A” personality, there’s a little bit of OCD going on. So let’s do the math + mother of multiple kids + type-A personality + a little bit of OCD + and a million-item-to-do-list all day = A mother about to lose her mind.
I recently started feeling a heaviness weighing on me. It started to feel like there was a weight on my shoulders that has been weighing on me, on my relationships, my patience, and even physically; been giving me body aches and pains. I couldn’t figure out what it was at first, then it hit me like a wall — it was motherhood.
“Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”Unknown
I was looking for a way to calm my nerves, to centre me and ground me quickly when I started to feel the heaviness on my shoulders. Sometimes it would be so bad that it would make me hyperventilate into my chest. That’s when I went to look for solutions to treat my anxiety and depression. If you’ve read my postpartum depression post, you know I suggested that CBD may help. I’ve been using it to help me though both depression and anxiety during motherhood.
I recently discovered a Canadian company called FeelCBD. They are based out of Vancouver and offer a variety of CBD based products including disposable capes, tinctures, and their newest product called the Relief Stick. They use full spectrum CBD and plant-based oils to give you a unique CBD experience.
Trust me when I say I’m a skeptic basically all the time. Seriously! Like what was all the hype with CBD? In my head I’m thinking it’s probably a bunch of voodoo. I don’t believe in this stuff. Hippie hemp crap… but boy, am I eating my words now. I love CBD and how amazing it has been for me.
My first love with CBD is called “Love”. Now I’ve tried CBD in both oil and pill form, but this was my first time really experiencing the benefits. The pen is a disposable CBD vape pen with no THC. You get the vape pen and a charger. The vape drag is much deeper than smoking a cigarette. Think of taking a deep breath for 1-2 seconds, holding it in for just a moment, and exhaling. Not only will the deep breathing calm you down, but for me, I felt a nice warm wave of relaxation after vaping with “Love”. It has a nice cinnamon flavour. This pen in particular is enhanced with rose and cinnamon. The claim is that it helps with libido and while I don’t know if that worked for me, it definitely helped me with feeling warm on the inside. I almost immediately felt a calming sensation all over my body. I did this before bed and I had a great sleep that night.
FeelCBD was kind enough to send me another pen, Balance. This one is enhanced with grapefruit, ylang ylang, and vanilla. It was definitely a different experience from Love. Love was warm and cozy and Balance was very calming and relaxing. I did enjoy the flavour and the experience. I did have to take a couple more drags out of this one to get the same calming feeling as Love but overall it is a good pen. I did have to charge this one more frequently than Love because I did take more drags from this pen.
Finally, they sent me their Relief Stick. This is a CBD infused topical. It is enhanced with menthol, camphor, lemongrass and lemon eucalyptus. In short, it’s amazing. I do eyelash extensions and hold my little guy often and my neck, shoulders, and upper back take a beating. I’m sore all the time. This has a wonderful menthol feeling that makes the aching soreness go away within minutes. MINUTES. I found it lasts for a while and by the time I notice I’m sore again it’s been a couple of hours. Also, it SMELLS AMAZING. I didn’t want to forget that. Lemon eucalyptus is one of my favourite scents.
CBD has now become a part of my every day life. It helps calm me, and centres me when I’m on the edge. I do a lot of meditation and self reflection but some days are harder than others. I like that these pens don’t give me a high feeling and alter my mind. As a busy mom of 3, the last thing I need is my mind to be altered because my mind is going a mile a minute. At the end of the day I always suggest to figure out what works for you to calm yourself when you get into a difficult state of mind or you start to feel anxious or stressed. For me, it’s FeelCBD vape pens that help me when I need to calm down quickly. While I continue down my postpartum journey, I’m glad I’ve found something that works for me to help me mentally. I’ll take any help if it helps me be a more patient mom.